A Good Ribbing
by OfRedLipsAndRosyCheeks
Summary: The ache in his ribs and an x-ray commercial provokes Hank to discover if androids have skeletons, or ribcages, to be more precise.


_**A/N: This is a request from bashfulpinata for the prompt, "Thanks for mentioning that little detail". I hope this is to your liking, Piñata! Enjoy! Fair warning: this will contain some teasy rib tickles and rib counting. Read if you must, but you may feel them tickles yourself. You've been warned.**_

* * *

It was a quiet, yet somewhat dull, Sunday afternoon within the Anderson residence. The steadily ongoing sequence of television shows—mainly consisting of cop comedies that were broadcasted as far back as the 1980s—being the only source of ambiance, as well as the snoring emitting from Sumo, who curled up on his pillow-like bed in the corner of the living room. If that wasn't enough, there would be the constant chatter between the human and the android.

"I still can't believe you actually did it, Connor! Did you _see_ the look on Gavin's face when he tasted the salt you put in his coffee?" Another chortle uproared out in the open as Hank all but fell back into the couch in a fit of jarring laughter, slamming a hand against the armrest to his right.

Almost instantly, his cackling was assimilated by the bout of laughter that resonated from Connor's voice box. If hearing the sound of his human companion's own laughter wasn't the vindication for his sudden display of amusement, the mental photography of the immense abhorrence written on the detective's face upon registering the unwelcoming bitterness administered from the salt.

"As I explained to you at the precinct, I simply misinterpreted the salt packets for sugar," Connor managed to explain himself through his giggling, yet they both knew that wasn't the case. "I will admit, however, that watching Detective Reed's facial expression contort like that is humorous, nevertheless."

Hank snorted and just about squawked in between fits of rough laughter. He couldn't even begin to remember the last time he ever laughed so hard; the side-splitting type of laughter; the laughter that made your sides ache for what felt like hours. " _Hahahaha_! Hoholy shit! It hurts, it fuckin' hurts!" He wheezed and coiled an arm over his ribcage instinctively, greedily sucking in copious amounts of air in the midst of recovering from his laugh attack.

The neutral blue illuminating from the android's LED quickly transitioned into a concerned yellow, his laughter instantly ceasing, amusement morphing to worry as Connor fixed his gaze on the ventilating lieutenant as if scanning for any possible injury had struck him. "H-Hank? Are you hurt?" He asked anxiously.

His laughter finally subsiding, Hank turned back to the android hovering over him out of sheer habit and adjusted himself back into his natural sitting position, rubbing the sliver of mirthful tears out of his eyes. "No, Connor… no. I'm fine, just… my ribs are kinda sore. Nothing serious."

"Would you like an ice pack from the refrigerator?" The android offered a gentle inquiry through his protective impulse.

"Jesus, Connor…" Hank sighed as he ran a hand over his own face, grabbing onto the android's wrist and tugging him back onto the couch as he attempted to stand. "I said I'm fine. I appreciate it, but you don't have to worry about everything I do. I may be old, but I sure as hell ain't fragile. Besides, the last thing I need is some android nanny hovering over me." He ended his assuring statement on a teasing note as the yellow LED spiraled back to blue.

"Right. I'm sorry, Hank-"

" _Ah_! What'd I say about apologizing?"

"I'm so-" The android was immediately cut off with a stern gaze from the older man that told him to shut up. "Nevermind."

Hank flashed a smug smirk and uttered a light 'hmph' in response before turning his attention back to the television, intent on indulging himself further into the currently playing episode. However, much to his own dismay, he was presented with the one thing that plagued every television spectator with annoyance; the one thing that so rudely interrupted television programming everywhere…

"God, I hate these damn commercials!" Hank grumbled, resting his cheek against and closed fist, his elbow perching on the armrest, paying no attention to the images of products that would stir skepticism. He could recall observing merchandise so harebrained, he would sooner buy a $500 bottle of alcohol and not get drunk from it than something so asinine as a $50 washcloth that is claimed to be able to absorb spills and the floor is still messy. Really, who would be idiotic enough to purchase something so useless at a laughably high price?

Surprisingly, this next particular advertisement seemed to have caught his attention. There seemed to be two skeletons, presumably of a male and female human, having a medical conversation, considering the certain terms he blocked out. He could tell from the cerulean hue glowing from the bony beings that this commercial provided information regarding x-rays.

Don't get him wrong, he didn't care much for the ad as a whole.

He shifted his gaze from the screen and to the android sitting to his left and back. He thought about how he grew more human by the day following his deviancy, then how painstaking, and partially frightening, his appearance resembled to be that of a human, save for the flickering blue LED. And with another glimpse at the skeletal figures on the television monitor, a new curiosity had bloomed.

Hank turned back to the younger man sitting beside him, whose gaze was fixated on the television. "Hey, Connor?"

Connor returned his gaze to the older man, the blue LED gently flickering in curiosity. "Yes, Hank?"

"You know, all this talk about my ribs and that commercial got me thinkin'. I know how androids were made to resemble humans and all, and I was wondering something: do androids have skeletons?"

Connor tilted his head to the side and blinked at the odd question, but he naturally rummaged through his database in search for an answer, his LED spinning with a bright yellow before explaining to his human companion, "While we are internally disparate, in terms of organs and biocomponents, every android has an interior framing composed of polycarbonate material. Despite the durability of the matter, they can be broken, much like regular bones, but can be self-repaired within at least 24 hours. The framing is positioned within certain body parts, such as legs, arms, and hands, and can adjust to common movements, similar to a human skeleton. In conclusion, androids do possess skeletons."

 _ **(A/N: Yeeah, my theory may not be ENTIRELY accurate? Sorry.)**_

"Do they include ribcages?"

"Yes, as do I."

With that being said, Hank reached towards the android and, with a newfound stroke of curiosity, uncurled his pointer finger and pressed the fingertip into a specific area just below the underarm with a gentle prod. His confirmed his theory when he felt a hard surface underneath the artificial skin; a bone; a polycarbonate bone; a _ticklish_ bone, given the way Connor squeaked and lightly shuffled to his end of the couch, arms enfolding around the area of his artificial ribcage protectively.

After a few seconds of awkward silence between the two, Hank, who was wearing a shit-eating grin with such mischief, leaned forward and snatched at one of the RK800′s wrists, yanking the android close to ensnare him into an inescapable embrace, his back against the older man's chest.

Connor's LED flashed yellow in response to the sudden action momentarily before reverting back to the usual blue, craning his neck to take a glance at his captor, but he was only able to see him from the corner of his eye. "Hank?"

Instead of responding to the address, Hank simply latched onto both sides and dug his fingers between the sets of artificial ribs, vibrating his digits to produce electric-like sensations.

Connor's eyes flew wide open just as his sensors picked up on the aforementioned feelings, making him fall into fits of sputtering giggles as he lightly kicked his legs through some sort of reflex. "Ahahahaha! Nahahahahaa! Hahahaaank!"

Hank chuckled at the android's giggly protests, simply curling his fingertips into the gaps of the synthetic ribcage. "Well, whaddya know? You _do_ have ribs, _and_ they're ticklish!" He hummed to himself as he went on, thinking of a particular game that used to drive Cole up the wall. He wondered if it would work on the ticklish android in his grasp as well. "Hey, Connor… how many ribs do ya have, you think?"

"T-Twehehenty-fohour!" Connor squeaked at the occasional prod here and there. "Twehelve on each sihihide!"

"You sure about that? Maybe I should count 'em for you~" Hank didn't even spare the poor android even a second to utter a single protest, and he pressed his thumb into the lowest rib on the right side of his ribcage, kneading and circling the tip against the artificial bone. "One…" He began to slowly count aloud, remaining there for at least three seconds before he would move on to the next one. "Two… three…"

Connor squealed and lurched in the lieutenant's arms like a small trapped caught in a trap, feebly attempting to pry himself out by pushing his own arms away from each other, but that was stopped by the older man's tight grip. He could feel a tint of blue painted across his cheeks, having been caused by the teasing croon in Hank's voice as he counted to tease the poor boy out of his artificial skin.

"Hahahank, pleeheheheease!" He tried to whine through his frantic cries of laughter. "I said I have twehehenty-fohohour rihihiiibs!"

"I'm still gonna check, anyway," Hank paused his enumeration to answer the android's plea for an instant before he immediately pressed on, "Now hold still. Twenty-four- Wait, what number was I on? Shit, I think I lost count. Guess we'll just have to start all over again~"

Connor froze in his place, quickly realizing his mistake, and he initiated another string of pleas with a nervous, wobbly grin. "N-No, wait! Hank, pleheheheeease! Nohohohoo!" He cried out desperately, only to descend into another series of giggles with an occasional squeak as he restarted from the lowest rib.

"One… two… three… four… five… six…" Hank punctuated each number he tallied with a pinch to each rib, the prototype's laughter becoming albeit louder the higher he went. "Seven… eight… nine… ten… eleven… twelve! Yep, twelve ribs on this side!" He emphasized his announcement with a squeeze to the inflicted side, snickering at the emitted squeak. "But what about the other side, huh? You got twelve of 'em there, too?"

"Y-Yehes! I assure you, I- _Eeek_!" Connor was cut off on the spot just as Hank's hand did so much as make contact with the left side of the artificial ribcage.

"One… two… three…" Hank nipped at each and every sensitive plastic bone with his pointer finger and his thumb as he continued this little game, grinning at the giggly pleads and squeals being composed from his android son. "Aaand twelve! Twenty-four in all! Guess you're right after all!" He squeezed the left set after he finished, just as he did for the other side.

Connor lowered his shoulders and fell limp against the older man's chest with soft giggles rising from his own, simply allowing him to hold him in his warm embrace. "I-I did say that, Hank…"

Hank smiled and lightly pinched at one of the prototype's blue-tinged cheeks, keeping him in his arms for the next minute before took a glance at the side concealed by the plain tee. "And now that I know about all this, I'm actually feeling kinda hungry…" He purred, a devious smirk playing across his lips.

Connor's eyes went agape just as his auditory processors picked up on the jest, identifying the lighthearted roguishness dripping in his tone. "H-Hank, I realize your intentions, and I advise you against this. If you are famished, you can find a proper source of nourishment in the kitchen- _Aahh_!" His attempt to dissuade the intent was deterred with a startled squeal as he was lightly pushed onto the couch and on his back, his father figure kneeling over his legs to prevent any venture to escape.

"Aw, c'mon, Connor! I haven't had any ribs in a while!" Hank grumbled in a satirical manner as he slowly upheaved the fabric of the android's casual tee by the hem and bunched it over his chest, exposing his entire abdomen. "I forgot what they taste like~"

"Hahank, please don't do thihis! S-Surely there must be an alternatIIIIVE!" Once again, Connor's attempt to reason with him came to a crashing halt as Hank swooped down and buried his face into the left set of ribs, gently nibbling at the artificial bones instantaneously. "AHAHAHAHAAA!"

"Mmmmm, that sure is tasty!" Hank murmured against the sensitive skin, causing the younger man to snort and jolt. "They're so warm, ticklish, and they taste like giggles! Sounds like a pretty good snack to me!"

Connor shrieked mirthfully, startling Sumo out of his slumber in the process before settling back into his lazy doze. The android drummed his feet against the cushions and flailed his arms around as Hank continued to 'devour' at the sensitive artificial bones of his ribcage, switching between gently nibbling with his teeth and his lips at random moments, leaving him unable to calculate what the older man would do next until it was inflicted. The soft brushes of his beard and theatrical growls and eating noises seemed to add onto the sensations coursing through his sensors.

"HAHAHAHAAANK!" Connor wailed through his howls of laughter as he clenched his eyes shut tightly in an attempt to ease the feelings, wincing at the occasional quick raspberry administered to the horribly sensitive skin. "MEHEHEHERCY! DAHAHAAD, PLEHEHEASE! I-I CAHAHAN'T!"

As his last attempt to beg for mercy came forth, a hand ruffled the disheveled locks and the weight was lifted from his legs, allowing him to curl in on himself. The prototype sluggishly draped an arm over his eyes as if trying to hide himself as the blue tint slowly vanished from his goofily grinning face, simply lying in his current position and waiting for his leftover giggles to fade away. He pried his arm away from his face to look over at Hank, who returned the gaze with a wry, affectionate grin of his own that told him that he would surely take advantage of in the future.

"Thanks for mentioning that little detail. Now I know one more ticklish spot."


End file.
